Good Grief

Recently, I've learned that humans grieve change.  When we want to change something about ourselves, or when a big change is about to occur, we go through the grieving steps.  Don't get what I'm saying? Keep reading.

Step 1 - The first step in the grieving process is SHOCK AND DENIAL.  To give you an example, I'll use my own journey with learning/realizing my struggle with pride. If someone mentioned or tried to talk to me about me having a problem with pride, I would often first be shocked and then in denial and think "Ha! I don't struggle with pride!"  Even when I would read about it in the Bible and feel a little tug in my heart, I would deny it and move on. 

Step 2 - Once this occured so many times, a friend spoke just the right words to me so that I moved passed the denial phase and into the PAIN & GUILT phase.  I felt so bad for having dealt with this for so long and pushing it aside and felt guilty for having this kind of thing in me in the first plase and I just felt pain.  I also felt like God didn't want anything to do with me, because who would want/love someone with pride.  After this, I moved on to..

Step 3 - ANGER & BARGAINING - As I talked to God, I was angry and felt unattached from Him.  To try to help my case, I would think of all of the good things I've done and think that surely God sees that my good outweighs the bad. This was me bargaining with myself to get His acceptance/love.

Step 4 - Once I still didn't feel His presence, I began the DEPRESSION, REFLECTION, LONELINESS stage.  The light I normally have inside was dim, I constantly was trying to figure out why I was the way that I was, and I just felt alone in this world.  It was a very sucky feeling.  It lasted for a few days, and I honestly didn't know if it would ever end.  

Step 5 - Thankfully, one day, as I was pushing through all of this, I read in my morning quiet time book, Closer to God Each Day, that "The Lord has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted and to proclaim that captives will be released and prisoners will be freed.  He has sent me to tell those who mourn that the time of the Lord's favor has come... To all who mourn... he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair... -Isaiah 61:1-3"  It also stated, "Thank God, He heals the brokenhearted, opens prison doors, and sets the captives free! You don't have to live in the pain of your past!"  This is what triggered the UPWARD TURN stage.  It was with this message that I could see hope.  I now had a goal.

Step 6 - Now that I had goal, I was able to begin my next stage, the RECONSTRUCTION & WORKING THROUGH stage.  My goal was to not be a slave to pride or all of my other emotions for that matter.  I realized how in the past, I allowed my emotions to control me, but that it IS possible for me to control all of my emotions.  When I'm angry, I don't have to lash out, when I'm hurting, I don't have to hurt others to feel better, the list goes on and on.  I also learned that I won't make any decisions off of soul emotion anymore.  (Looking back now, I see how important this was for me to learn.)

Step 7 - Now I have come to the last stage, ACCEPTANCE & HOPE.  I have accepted the fact that I still struggle with pride, but have accepted that fact and have hope that one day, I will be in full control of it.  But I realize I can't do that myself.  Only God can change that part of my heart, so my prayer is that it is in His plan to do so.  

Realizing that change takes grief has helped me in more ways than this one, and I hope this will help you as you might struggle with change as much as I did.  We are all in this together, and if I can help in any way, please let me know and I would love to be praying with you about whatever you may be going through.  Thank you for your time.  I love you.