Guest blogger - Becca Stovall

Sometimes, when I look at the world around me, I feel like the ugly duckling. I don't look like any of these people or think like them or act like them. Do you ever feel that way? Almost like you were adopted into a society or time period or region that only serves to make your idiosyncrasies stand out vividly? I would love to say that I am the strong, brave woman who's able to embrace that and strike out boldly into the world so different from me and just be Stargirl (a book I highly recommend). However, I'm not that girl. I'm a worrier, one who shrinks back from things that make me feel small or unprepared, one who is often afraid of being too different. It's a shame, but it's the truth.

One of my favorite stories in the Bible is when God calls Moses to be His messenger and deliver the Israelites from their slavery. He was different, He felt different and incapable, but God used that. Now, I don't know about you but I tend to feel like all those famous Bible people are worlds away from me, famous main characters, etc.- so I have to remind myself that Moses was a REAL human. A man who was born an Israelite during a time that it was dangerous to be Hebrew, so his mother saved his life by setting him afloat in a river, only to be found by Pharaoh's daughter and raised in the palace. When he grew up, this guy was so burdened by his heritage and how poorly treated the Israelites were that he actually murdered an Egyptian who was beating a Hebrew slave. He ran away, hid in the desert, and God sought him out there. You can find his story in Exodus 2-4.

"During those many days the king of Egypt died, and the people of Israel groaned because of their slavery and cried out for help. Their cry for rescue from slavery came up to God. And God heard their groaning, and God remembered his covenant with Abraham, with Isaac, and with Jacob. God saw the people of Israel—and God knew."

God heard. God remembered. God saw. God knew.

He listened to their pain, remembered it, saw their wrestling with it, and knew how their hearts ached.

Then He verbalized the giant, scary purpose He'd placed on Moses' life.

"Then the Lord said, “I have surely seen the affliction of my people who are in Egypt and have heard their cry because of their taskmasters. I know their sufferings, and I have come down to deliver them out of the hand of the Egyptians and to bring them up out of that land to a good and broad land, a land flowing with milk and honey... Come, I will send you to Pharaoh that you may bring my people, the children of Israel, out of Egypt.”

He knew, He came, He brought, He sent.

Seems good, right? Logically, Moses *should* be all, WOW YAY WHAT AN HONOR, GOD, THIS IS GREAT.

But Moses shrank away from it (and I'm glad he's so relatable). And not just one time did Moses say, "Eh, I don't really think I can do this, God." He said it four times.

"But Moses said to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the children of Israel out of Egypt?” ...Then Moses answered, “But behold, they will not believe me or listen to my voice, for they will say, ‘The Lord did not appear to you.’ ...But Moses said to the Lord, “Oh, my Lord, I am not eloquent, either in the past or since you have spoken to your servant, but I am slow of speech and of tongue.” ...But he said, “Oh, my Lord, please send someone else.”"

He gave every excuse. He had doubts, even though God was right there TALKING to him. He was a needy human who felt unable, different, unequipped, unsure, like it should be anyone else but him. If it had been me at that burning bush in the desert, I would have probably offered up hours of excuses before resigning to God's will. I definitely would've done the same thing Moses did and said, "Are you sure you want ME, God?"

I think Moses was the ultimate example of someone who felt born into the wrong time, the wrong society, the wrong people group, or felt too different. There was truly no one like him- a Hebrew raised as an Egyptian who fled and settled with Midianites. I can absolutely see why he felt incapable because I have been there and felt those same feelings (sometimes on a daily, hourly basis). What I have to remind myself of is that God still hand-picked Moses. He knew that Moses' weaknesses would be the perfect place to display His strength. He knew that this unsure, insecure, stuttering 'ugly duckling' would be the best example for us to show that God will use ANYONE. God's purpose is bigger than our insecurities, our idiosyncrasies, our doubts, our fears, our physical weaknesses, our flaws, our sin, and our mess.

I don't know what you need to hear or read today, I don't know what your heart is struggling with, and I don't know what you feel is keeping you from being your best or fulfilling your life's purpose. But I do know that God wants to and can use you. I know that it is natural to doubt ourselves and doubt God- that's why we say that faith is supernatural. It's above and beyond our natural tendencies or abilities, but God gives us the opportunities and the grace to start cultivating our faith in Him. Faith has been difficult for humans since the beginning of time- the Bible is a huge testament to that- and it's okay for it to be something we grapple with daily (of course Hebrews 11 has a lot of great things to tell us about that.)

For me, what it comes down to is choosing to try. Over and over and over again. Choosing to try to believe Him, choosing to hush the voices in my head that criticize myself and others, choosing to accept His truth and His whispers. I hope you'll try with me. I hope you'll be encouraged by Moses' human-ness and the fact that God used him not in spite of but BECAUSE OF his weakness. And I hope that the next time you feel out of place or incapable, you'll remember Moses' story and believe God for some beautiful things.