Middle School

Tonight, I saw the new Power Rangers movie, and was reminded of my middle/high school age years.  I hated middle school.  They were the worst years of my life.  There was so much self discovery and confusion during those years, and I realized/remembered tonight how influenced I was by the TV shows and movies I watched growing up as well as who the people I chose to hang out with.  I specifically remember watching Wizards of Waverly Place and wanting to be just like Selena Gomez's character.  I tried to dress like her and act like her.  It was not healthy.  I also had a certain friend I constantly looked up to and wanted to be.  In all honesty, I don't/didn't really want to be like her, but there was something about her that made me want to be just like her.  

As I look back and think about it, I realize that both of those girls I looked up to and wanted to be like had one specific thing in common... confidence.  They both knew who they were and were confident about it.  For years, I didn't try to even figure out who I was, I constantly tried to be someone else, and I always felt like I fell short every time.  I felt like I was missing something that seemed tangible what was incredibly hard to get.  Looking back, I also realize that I am/have been a people pleaser.  To an unhealthy extent.  I am constantly worried about what other people think of me and want to somehow convince them that I'm smart, pretty, funny, attractive, spiritual, adventurous, etc.  The list goes on and on.  And because I want people to view me as all of those things, I loose who I actually am (and who God has called me to be).  

I'm here to tell you that you can't be both, a people pleaser and confident.  You have to decided which you want to be.  I have spent YEARS dealing with this and it is a constant struggle for me, but I am learning that God made me EXACTLY how He wanted me.  He would have made a duplicate of the girl I wanted to be so badly if God would have wanted that, but instead, God made ME, because He wanted a ME in this world.  There is a specific thing(s) that ONLY I can do and only in the way that I would do it (by me being me).  

I often think of it like this... if you were a potter/artist, and you made this creation that you were super proud of and wanted to show it off to people, but the creation you made looked at you and said, "Eww, I'm hidious. No one would ever like me.  Why did you make me this way? I hate it. I wish you would have never created me (this way)."  You can imagine how the potter/artist would feel!  Well, when we say or think those things, that's what we're telling God.  We're telling the Creator of the entire world that He made a mistake and screwed up part of His Creation.  I'm here to tell you that God is a PERFECT God and doesn't make mistakes.  He created you to be exactly you, knowing what all that would entail.  He did not make a mistake by making you, but did a PERFECT job!  

So, I hope you think twice on wondering/being disattisfied by why you are the way you are, and that you will learn who it is that God made and entrusted you to be, and grow confidence in that person.  People are different, and that's okay.  I love you, and so does the King of Kings, Lord of Lords, and Creator of all things.  

You are beautiful and absolutely amazing JUST the way you are!