unrealistic expectations

Recently I've been learning about 'unrealistic expectations', and how it can effect you.  

We are not in control of what happens to us in life, but we are in control of what we think about certain situations, and what to expect going into things.  Don't know what I'm talking about yet?  

Here are a few examples of how 'unrealistic expectations' and I haven't got along:

1 - Boys.  I grew up watching Disney princess movies and later chick flicks, seeing that men are 'supposed to be' charming and sweet, and outgoing yet shy and confident yet humble, and all that other stuff, not realizing (or EXPECTING) guys in my future and in my life to acutally be human.  When a guy I liked wasn't "ALL the stuff", I would get upset and wonder if I had done something wrong to cause that, or would wonder if I should stay with him because he didn't have "all the stuff".  How silly of me to think that no guys ever make mistakes.  I also had an unrealistic expectation for ALL GUYS to like me.  I expected (like the Disney movies and chick flicks) that if I liked a guy, he should like me too.  Just so you know, that's not how it works... at all.. and it stinks learning that.  Just know that there is nothing wrong with you when this happens.  That is a foothold for Satan to use if you allow him the opportunity.

Now, with boys and expectations, there is a balance to find.  You shouldn't stay with someone who continues to make certain mistakes.  I got trapped in a relationship like that.  We have to understand if someone made a mere mistake, or if that "mistake" is actually a flaw in their character.  I thought my ex-fiance was just making "mistakes" here and there, but it turns out that those mistakes were really a flaw in him.  When I made the decision to leave, it felt selfish and as if I should be more understanding and be there for him and hope he would change, but when there is harm (physical, emotional, and/or spiritual) for someone in a relationship, it's time for the relationship to end. Thankfully I had friends, my family, and ultimately my faith in God to fall back on when I got out of this relationship, but some people don't have that, and my heart hurts because of that.  So, there is a balance to what you should expect in a guy.  Just have realistic and HEALTHY expectations for it.

2- Mission projects.  I recently went on a trip to Haiti, and I think I was expecting to make a huge difference in the place I went.  I was expecting to call on God, and for Him to come quickly and everyone there to then believe in God and live happily ever after.  I didn't realize that this is what I expected until I didn't get it and was disappointed in what actually happened.  It is good to have faith that things will happen and that God will work, but what I learned from all of that was that God had a plan and is going to deliver in HIS timing... not mine.  Just because I selfishly wanted something, and prayed to God to recieve it, doesn't mean that God should allow for that.  God has an absolutely PERFECT plan, that (thankfully) I can't mess up.  Hillary Scott has an awesome song you should listen to concerning this very thing.  It's called "Thy Will".  Take a listen.

3- Life.  As I have grown, I have observed people around me who are doing things (getting good jobs, know what they want to do in life, have successful relationships, have kids,.. the list goes on and on), and I have felt that because we are the same age, I should be doing those same things, and that I have failed because I haven't done those things (yet).  It's not fun to feel like you are behind or like others are looking at you and judging where you are in life.  There have been unrealistic expectations on my part, and on their part, and there will be disappointment found in unmet expectations.  BUT, even so, we can know that where we are right now is EXACTLY where God predestined us to be.  He wants us where we are for a reason, and for a reason we often can't see and might not ever see.  But if you believe and know that God is good all the time, He is still good in those unmet expectations.  He is still the King of kings and Lord of lords and can justify all things done to us.  

I once heard that Denmark is the happiest country in the world, and it came to find out that it was due to their expectations being low in the first place.  

I don't want to tell you to set low goals and stay there, but set high goals accompanied by REALISTIC expectations, and watch what happens.  

I love that it is a realistic expectation to believe that one day I will get to be with God in heaven one day and that is a REALISTIC expectation that I can always trust Him and believe that He will ALWAYS be there.  What a great God we serve.

To God be the Glory.